A little (self) love goes a long way
So we all know about self care, it’s all over everywhere isn’t it?! On every social media platform someone will right now be posting a self care infographic and people (like me!) will be downloading and saving it for later. It’s not a new trend just the packaging is different.
Wishing a friend or loved one well and encouraging them to ‘take care’ is part of our daily patter and we’ve become good at reminding others of the importance to look after themselves. But what about you and me - what are we doing to take care of ourselves?
Let’s take a look at what self care is and what it’s not!
So is it an extra few minutes in bed in the morning, taking longer in the shower, having a cheeky glass of wine after a long day or catching on a favourite soap? Or is it going for a longer dog walk, having some quiet time with a good book, eating a balanced and healthy meal, adding a few extra stretches to your routine and getting 7 or 8 hours good quality sleep?
Arguably it’s all of any of the above. It’s finding the thing(s) that buy you time and space to do what you want to do, the things that make you feel good, energise you but also importantly do you no harm. A couple of squares of dark chocolate after dinner will do you no harm however polishing off a bottle of wine probably will hurt in the morning and longer term if it becomes habitual will do harm. It’s that age old adage ‘most things in moderation’ except we’re not very good at keeping the score and lots of things consumed in moderation will become excess.
I’ll talk about this in future blogs but it is a curious irony that often the things we call ‘treats’ e.g. chocolate, wine, cake, crisps have the opposite affect on our body, they might feed a psychological need but that’s all they’re treating!
It’s easy to put self care on the back burner, to put others first and to forget that we are not going to be good at caring for anyone else if we’ve neglected to look after ourselves first. It’s the hackneyed adage that in the event of a plane going down you do need to put your own oxygen mask on before attending to others.
The problem I think with self care for many of us is that it can often feel indulgent, that we’re wasting precious time (and for many of us who have busy lives, often caring for others it’s hard to put yourself first). On the contrary, putting ourselves first, listening to our own needs and wants is fundamental. It’s part of recognising ourselves, recognising that we are our own unique selves.
It’s not selfish or self indulgent. It should be part of our daily lives, taking time to properly nourish ourselves with food, movement, quiet time and whatever else our body and mind needs to regulate.
Self care is listening to your needs, slowing down enough not just to hear but to action those needs. And it isn’t always doing the easy things. Looking after mind and body is self maintenance. Perhaps that could be the new way to look at it, maintaining and keeping good for as long as possible what we have a bit like a car - with the right fuel and daily servicing.
For me it’s not about casting aside my to do list but making sure that my to do list includes me. Adding in the things that I like and want to do as much as much as I think I ought to be doing. Just acknowledging those things is a step towards self care!
This week my list has included going for a swim, arranging to see friends and finishing my book - as well as writing this blog, cleaning the bathroom floor and buying more topsoil!
How will you commit to self care this week?